Saturday, December 11, 2010

American Pie, Everyone Becomes a Little Slutty, Walk of Shame

Going to bars, when you've spent most of your adolescent career at lame house parties that usually got broken up, is too much fun. Luckily for me around my school are about a selection of four decent bars within walking distance. But who am I to even judge their quality, I mean I am lucky to get into any of them with the shitty excuse of an ID that I use. I'm not sure if its the dimly lit ambiance, repetitive club music, or the fact that everyones confidence is automatically boosted by ordering drinks at a "21 & over" bar as underclassman in college, but people get down. Its funny how you watch these seemingly absurd college movies, that, turns out aren't so absurd after all. 

Newsflash Mom and Dad, those movies are pretty spot on (See American Pie 1 & 2 & 3)

 If you have ever seen any of these movies then you have surely seen girls dancing slutty with or without a female friend joining in, people pouring shots in each others mouth (usually guys to girls), everyone making out with each other, and sleezy guys with too much cologne managing to convince girls twice their hotness level to go back to their room. Funny thing is, you probably thought, ya know back in those highschool days, that you would absolutely not be like those girls and you definitely wouldn't give into those guys, but I can guarantee you, you will surprise yourself in college, and probably let your parents down. I'm not saying that everyone is going to become a slut in college, but everyone becomes a little slutty in college. This doesn't mean you have to sleep with every guy who gets your digits but I'm guessing that you either leave the dorm wearing something thigh-bearing or tot-bearing on any given night. And even if you don't conform to the dress-code that is unintentionally instilled in college underclassman, than your dancing skills at the bar will probably make up for this. We have all done it, bumpin and grindin like your in a Drake music video. Dancing all up on that cutie at the bar, hoping he'll buy you a drink (and not roofie it), and most importantly, turn down those other slutty bitches for you. 

Personally, I much rather wake up from sore thighs from dancing all night, in my own room, wearing my cleans pajamas with a little bit of my dignity,than wake up in his room with the same clothes I fell asleep in and walk back through campus while everyone judges the shit outta me. (This doesn't apply to guys who live in your dorm, because noone has to see you, but who wants to hook up with those freshman boys anyway? HA) See, the problem with doing the walk of shame is that noone can see who you were with the night before, and he could be butt-ugly for all they know, whereas when your dancing with him all night long at the bar, everyone sees. Either way, no matter what your preference is, to bump and grind or to have a little sleepover, just make sure that he's worth it, or "its" worth it (and you know what I am talking about)

Stay Tuned. Stay Classy.

No comments:

Post a Comment