Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The "C" Word

So apparently there is this unwritten rule in college about consistent hookups. And this is the rule, as I have figured it out ...

" Never, NEVER mention, hint at, show a guy that you are aware, that you care, it makes you happy, you feel content, with the fact that you guys have hooked up more than a dozen times, and never ask them about other girls"

The thing about Consistency in college is that its very wishy washy, because maybe its only consistent because he lives in your dorm and its convenient that night or maybe its because theres no one else that interests him that particular night or maybe its even because he likes gettin' down with you, but the bottom line is that every weekend it changes and you will never know the exact reason. And ladies, a word of advice no matter how much it kills you, don't ask, because it will bite you in the ass.

Take for example my little situation with Mitch, I started to get attached when there were too many questions left unanswered which made me feel insecure about our relationship (if you can even call it that). I was also curious about what else he was up to, and so I would ask around, maybe too much, which ultimately became my downfall.

Scientific Explanation:
 As humans we are drawn to mystery, its intriguing, and its a bit of a rush encountering something we are unsure of, its not safe and so it makes it that much more x-citing. With Mitch, I never could predict what he would do next, it was so up and down that when it was up, it was so hot and steamy because I hadn't expected it, like a pleasant surprise. And when it was down, I realized how much I missed the "up" part of our little friendship which is where the attachment came.

BOTTOMLINE: No matter how many times you hook up with someone, no matter how consistent it may feel. In college, unless you are in a committed relationship, this is not so. Sorry, Charlie.

Stay Tuned. Stay Classy,

Saturday, December 11, 2010

American Pie, Everyone Becomes a Little Slutty, Walk of Shame

Going to bars, when you've spent most of your adolescent career at lame house parties that usually got broken up, is too much fun. Luckily for me around my school are about a selection of four decent bars within walking distance. But who am I to even judge their quality, I mean I am lucky to get into any of them with the shitty excuse of an ID that I use. I'm not sure if its the dimly lit ambiance, repetitive club music, or the fact that everyones confidence is automatically boosted by ordering drinks at a "21 & over" bar as underclassman in college, but people get down. Its funny how you watch these seemingly absurd college movies, that, turns out aren't so absurd after all. 

Newsflash Mom and Dad, those movies are pretty spot on (See American Pie 1 & 2 & 3)

 If you have ever seen any of these movies then you have surely seen girls dancing slutty with or without a female friend joining in, people pouring shots in each others mouth (usually guys to girls), everyone making out with each other, and sleezy guys with too much cologne managing to convince girls twice their hotness level to go back to their room. Funny thing is, you probably thought, ya know back in those highschool days, that you would absolutely not be like those girls and you definitely wouldn't give into those guys, but I can guarantee you, you will surprise yourself in college, and probably let your parents down. I'm not saying that everyone is going to become a slut in college, but everyone becomes a little slutty in college. This doesn't mean you have to sleep with every guy who gets your digits but I'm guessing that you either leave the dorm wearing something thigh-bearing or tot-bearing on any given night. And even if you don't conform to the dress-code that is unintentionally instilled in college underclassman, than your dancing skills at the bar will probably make up for this. We have all done it, bumpin and grindin like your in a Drake music video. Dancing all up on that cutie at the bar, hoping he'll buy you a drink (and not roofie it), and most importantly, turn down those other slutty bitches for you. 

Personally, I much rather wake up from sore thighs from dancing all night, in my own room, wearing my cleans pajamas with a little bit of my dignity,than wake up in his room with the same clothes I fell asleep in and walk back through campus while everyone judges the shit outta me. (This doesn't apply to guys who live in your dorm, because noone has to see you, but who wants to hook up with those freshman boys anyway? HA) See, the problem with doing the walk of shame is that noone can see who you were with the night before, and he could be butt-ugly for all they know, whereas when your dancing with him all night long at the bar, everyone sees. Either way, no matter what your preference is, to bump and grind or to have a little sleepover, just make sure that he's worth it, or "its" worth it (and you know what I am talking about)

Stay Tuned. Stay Classy.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Mitch, Backward Hats, Corsets & My dorm or his?

I’m sure its been said a thousand times before, but I just have to say it -freshman college boys suck. They suck so hard that it makes those sluts who give guys head in the back of the movie theater look bad. I mean honestly I understand that they are teenagers who are horny, but really, these guys will say anything to get you in bed. I never considered myself a vulnerable or naive person, not in the slightest bit, but even I was played for a damn fool. There was this guy, Mitch, I had seen him at a frat party about the second week of school. Totally good looking, typical preppy kid, with his stupid pastel shorts and backwards hats. Totally not my type, but something about those baby blue eyes drew me in like a sale at my favorite shoe store. I knew I wanted to talk to this kid, as I’m sure many of the girls in the room did, but 

I was going to go for it.

            I saw him later that night at another party, he was outside with his friend who was smoking a cigarette. Thank god I got into that awful habit in high school because I found the perfect opportunity to talk to him. I asked his roommate for a light, and began chatting the two boys up. I’m not sure I should either thank or be pissed at my roommate for convincing me to wear a white tube top, a red skirt and three inch heels. I looked hot, I knew it, and he knew it too, which is why we hooked up the next night at a party. I should have enjoyed the little fun I had and then peaced the fuck out, but noooo I had to keep going. I mean the physical stuff was just too good to pass up. The next weekend was this Eurotrash party. Yes, that was the theme of a party, and who the hell knows what to wear to that. So I left my dorm wearing a corset, black shorts and black short leather heel boots. I was feeling sassy, and I guess it showed because the second I saw him I made him 

an offer he couldn’t refuse 

and wound up coming back to my dorm room. These little shenanigans continued on way too long. And like every other relationship that I get myself into, things started to get complicated, and way too casual for my liking. When I saw him, our interactions consisted of cordially saying "hey" to and from class, texting, but not usually (unless it was the weekend, of course) and that was about it. My questions about him began to pile up, was he hooking up with other people? Was he telling all of his friends? How long would this go on? Meanwhile, the only question that entered his mind was my dorm or his? HA

Stay tuned. Stay Classy.